Sometimes when I think about my mental health I just immediately want to push stop and move on to the next topic. If I can’t even face my problems, I wonder how people would perceive me if they knew what I was fighting every day. It can be really scary letting people know that you are different.

I want to open this post up by sharing some of the things that have been said to me about the challenges I face every day.

• You have depression? You always seem so happy
• You can’t have anorexia, I see you eat
• You can just choose to be happy
• You don’t look like you have an eating disorder
• Just stop worrying
• It’s not that big of a deal, just get over it
• Just eat the food

I look at that list and I just want to scream! It is total crap that the world we live in has an entirely warped idea of mental health. How would it sound if you told someone with diabetes that it isn’t a big deal and to just get over it or telling a cancer patient that they can just choose to not be sick? You would get cursed out, given the evil eye, and roasted alive if you had the audacity to post that online. It’s crazy how mental illness is treated so differently than physical illness.

Here are my truths:

At age 18 I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) when my self harming got so bad that I could no longer hide it. I wasn’t constantly sad, so I didn’t even think depression was an issue.

At age 20 I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It took being pregnant to realize how out of control my anxiety was, but I had been an anxious mess constantly since middle school, I was always to afraid to speak up about it.

At age 20 I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression. I had no idea my depression could get worse than it already was and that Postpartum Depression didn’t just go away when your child was no longer a baby.

At age 21 when I saw my first therapist and psychiatrist I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). There is so much stigma around this one that I thought it was just for soldiers who came back from war, which I definitely did not do. *cringe*

Last but not least, at age 25 I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. There is a lot of backstory that goes into this one, but there’s so much stigma surrounding Eating Disorders that I never even considered it an option. It wasn’t until I came across something that had triggered me that I had realized I have struggled with food and diet culture my entire life.

It is so hard getting away from the stigma that surrounds mental illness. I have depression, but I’m not always sad. I have anxiety but I am not always a hot mess. I have PTSD but I won’t let it define me. I have an eating disorder and I am not overweight or underweight. These are my truths and I am not ashamed.

I firmly believe that with time, continued therapy, continued medical care, and my awesome support system that I can beat all of these. The stigma doesn’t have to define you and with the help of everyone talking about the importance of mental health we can end the stigma. I’m doing my part and I am done being ashamed.